I have a document in Google that reads “The Not So Good Sides of Me.” My intention was to pen a piece on my shadow side as part of my self-love journey. I planned to describe – in detail – the parts of my personality and character that I needed to “fix.” Because I’m a fixer and I thought I needed fixing.
Bloggers would KILL for these emails and contacts. At one point, I did too and sold out my authentic brand voice for the ‘gram. Anything to get those red carpet pics. Anything for external validation.
Every man I have dated has ghosted me. My ex is married now. Which is funny because he used to say he was afraid of marriage. Maybe he was just afraid to marry me.
My vexation was about my role as ‘Opening Act.’ All the pain and hard work I put into the relationship and his next girl was getting all of his love and his respect.
I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell her she was wrong. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say even though I was there to hear her answers about my love life. But let’s face it, she’s a psychic.
Assuming I would be such the radio and Reality Television star that I had nothing financially to worry about, money fell from my lap as quickly as men fell out of my life.
I felt it was appropriate to share a video of goals for 2020. I needed to share this and watch this again for myself; in all honestly, I lost sight of what I wanted to create due to fear.
The Envelope that lays in his hands will change our lives forever. “I’ll unseal it and you pull out the paper,” he says. He does just that, and in my hands lies the answer to this crucial question: is it a boy or a girl?